Your self-talk determines how you feel. Try this exercise: say to yourself, “I am angry about the traffic on my commute.” Let yourself feel the statement. If you’re paying attention to your body, you can actually feel a physical response to the words you just said. It might be subtle – but if you were to repeat those words, and keep that train of thought chugging through your mind, your physical response would intensify. Now say to yourself, “I enjoy a little extra time to listen to music on my commute.” Doesn’t that sound, and feel, more relaxing? Repeat that sentence several times, allow yourself to feel it, and your mood will improve. That is the concept of positive self-talk statements: to get you to shift your mindset from grumpy to happy. This will help you navigate life’s challenges, cope with unexpected and unpleasant surprises, and help you manage stress.
You already have a steady stream of self-talk running pretty much nonstop in your mind. Take a moment to get in touch with your feelings and overall sense of happiness and wellbeing. Are you tense? Stressed? Anxious? Worried? Afraid? Angry?
Even a low-level undercurrent of persistent negative energies can impact the way you see the world, the way you plan and problem-solve, and the way you create your future.
To get in touch with your inner self, relax into the alpha level using the Silva countdown method and then simply listen to your mental chatter. Let your mind go on about whatever it wants and feel your emotions while you do this. Most likely, your mind will quickly go to the problems that you’re struggling with. Usually these have to do with self-image, self-esteem, finances, work and relationships. Let your mind chatter on, and take note of your emotional state.
How you talk to yourself determines how successful you are at life.
If your self-talk is based on what you can’t do, then your actions and your results will follow. You are the only one who can “change your mind” and start speaking proactively to yourself, in ways that empower and inspire you.
If your life circumstances aren’t to your liking, it’s largely due to your inner circumstances – meaning, how you talk to yourself. You’ve already done one introspective exercise where you listened to your inner speech. But do you ever notice how you talk about yourself to other people? For example, if someone compliments your work, do you shrug off the compliment, saying “it’s nothing”? If you’re talking about a goal you’d like to achieve, do you put yourself down with statements like, “I probably won’t be able to do that” or “I’ll try but I can’t guarantee anything”?
That has to stop, doesn’t it? Use this fabulous trick from the Silva Method: simply say (in your mind) “Cancel, Cancel” whenever you hear yourself talking this way, either out loud or in your self-talk. CANCEL that negativity!
Then, take the time to reprogram your mind to think positively. This means creating a habit of positive thinking. You guessed it – it takes a lot of awareness, determination and persistence, but you can completely change your self-talk and thus change your life.
It’s been shown in research that it takes 5 to 10 positive comments to offset the impact of just ONE negative comment. Wow! That means that for every time you catch yourself saying something disempowering, you will need to replace it with at least 10 positive, empowering and inspirational comments. But it’s worth the effort!
Develop a Habit of Positive Self-Talk
Step 1: Identify a statement or two that you repeat to yourself on a daily basis, about persistent problems. For example, “I can’t make ends meet” or “Nobody wants to date me.” Whatever your troubles are, there’s a lot of self-talk that centers on them. To start, focus on the statements you use most often, as these are the most dominant and influential things you say to yourself.
Step 2: Craft a rebuttal to those statements. Challenge that negativity! Your rebuttals are positive affirmations, or statements intended to get your mind to focus on the positive and on what you want (not the current situation or what you want to get away from). For example, “I am finding creative ways to make more money and live within my budget” or “I am constantly improving myself and becoming a magnet for my ideal partner.” It’s important to use your own words when you do this, so take these statements as jumping-off points. Be ready to use these rebuttals every single time your mind generates its habitual negative comments!
Step 3: Whenever you catch yourself spewing negativity, immediately say, “Cancel, Cancel” and replace it with your positive statement. Your mind may be persistent and you’ll have to force-feed these statements for a while. It will work, as you get used to this new habit.
Step 4: Reinforce the positive self-talk whenever you’re in a relaxed frame of mind. Enter the alpha state, a state of mind that is open to new ideas. Repeat your positive self-talk statements at least 10 times. Be sure to allow yourself to feel the statement, too. Allow those good feelings and positivity to flood your system. Bask in it! Create a mental image of the positive statement. For example, visualize yourself easily paying your bills and going out to eat (meaning you have a little extra to spend on indulgences). Or, imagine yourself walking hand-in-hand with your ideal partner. Let these mental images become dominant in your mind, driving out the negative images that you want to get away from.
Step 5: Practice. It takes a little over a month to create a new habit. It takes time for new neural connections to form and strengthen so don’t give up on yourself. Be persistent and as you imprint your new, positive and empowering self-talk, you will ROCKET to success in all areas of your life!